Do you know how hard it is to be me? And if you know harder, I honestly, really, really, REALLY don’t care. This about ME ok? So, shut up and listen to me for once! Ok I know what you’re thinking, “What’s so hard about being a cat? All you do is just sit around the house, get spoon fed, claw on furniture, and get pet every few seconds by your owners.” Well stand up, so you can sit down cus I’m just getting started. Every day, I wake up, go to the bathroom, eat breakfast, and then my owner forces me to go back into this stupid, cramped little thing my owner calls a “cage”. After that, he goes and leaves for literal AGES, and I don’t even get any lunch! Then, every night, I get out, go to the bathroom, eat dinner, then he forces me to go back in it and sleep in that stupid thing! All night! It’s so uncomfortable too, with all the small, cold, hard little metal bars making me freeze while waking me up to find I have bruises all over my-self! It’s not like he makes up for this, though. The only time he showed any remotely thing close to affection, is when he first got me he gave me this yarn ball that came with me. He didn’t even buy it! It was from my original owners, who I might say were soooo much better about taking care of me. He gave me this stupid name, too. He calls me “Cataline”. Is that supposed to be a pun on the fact that I’m a cat? That’s so corny! He never spends any time with me either, the only time is when opens the aforementioned torture chamber (or “cage”, as you call it) either REALLY early in the morning or REALLY late at night. He wakes up at around 3:00 AM to do who knows what, so he feeds me at 5:00 AM, and then gets home at 10:00 PM! So then after an hour of being lazy and doing whatever he does during that time (I can’t really see well because of the dumb oubliette I’m in), so he feeds me at 11:00 PM! Might as well not feed me now, I’ve practically already starved to death! Well, I guess that’s just about it. Now, you might be wondering how I’m writing this because, well, you know I’m a cat, (If you’ve been paying attention throughout the entire time I’ve been talking) but really, I’m writing this to my owner to know that he should watch out… because there will be a surprise for you next time you enter your house.